Atelophobia

So today, I had a good talk with my friend. My friend told me about the girl my friend likes. My friend said she was beautiful, that she was perfect and all these wonderful things.

And this made me think, in the future, would anybody, anybody in the world say the same things about me? I look in the mirror and see me, someone normal and nothing special. I look in the mirror and see nothing "beautiful" or even close to perfect. I look in the mirror and think, "What is the definition of perfect? Why do we all try to be perfect if we don't exactly know what it means?".

I seriously can't imagine anybody saying that I am pretty and meaning it. I can't imagine somebody gushing over me or getting butterflies when I talk to them. I can't imagine anyone looking at my picture and thinking that I look pretty. I can't imagine anyone calling me beautiful.

Some of you may think that I'm trying to get attention, but no, this is how I really feel. Yeah, sometimes I do feel beautiful but that feeling fades when I compare my self to others. There will always be somebody prettier, smarter, thinner and more talented than me. I don't have white skin, a flawless face, a perfectly fat stomach,  a thigh gap, hairless legs or beautiful legs, so what could anybody see in me. I have brown skin, fat legs, fat thighs and a 3 dimensional stomach. I have man eyebrows, I can't sing, I can't dance and I'm not like those geniuses in school (i had to double check on how to spell genius, see?) I'm not even smart enough or funny enough or somebody interesting to talk to, so who could see anything special in me?


 I mean, who could love a girl like me?